Ephemeral
I just noticed that my blogs are disappearing as I am posting them. I never knew Friendster Blogs did this. I guess it’s because I’m not paying some type of fee to keep my blogs archived forever and ever… But that’s okay, I’ve accepted the ephemeral-ity (?) of certain things in my life. It’s such a paradox though, to accept the ephemeral as a constant. I’ve thought about subscribing to another blogging site that won’t delete all my blogs but I kind of like the idea that my blogs will one day disappear into the Great Void- it just feels right.
On another note, I’ve been thinking over quite a few things and I think I’ve made up my mind on one thing finally. Mistakes happen for a reason right? I think to myself, I’ve been here before and I don’t need to stay any longer than I already have. So, I’m making a decision to leave this “place,” or to theoretically “drop it like it’s hot” as some would say. It’s one thing when you think what your intuition is telling you to do is the right thing (usually the best thing,) and it’s another when you already KNOW in a more tangible sense physically/mentally/emotionally that you can’t keep switching yourself on and off like a light bulb. Sometimes you just end up wishing that mistakes DON’T happen- and I’m not talking about your own mistakes, but peripheral mistakes. Is it selfless or selfish to wish that whatever image you had wasn’t tainted? Because you believed and truly thought that image you had of something good, and simple, and real existed and you know you could have gone on believing blindly in it without asking for anything because you are just that type of person to want to believe that all things are innately good. I’m not sure of that answer right now. I just know I wish that that image I had was never tainted. Maybe it is a selfish wish- to wish that what you believed in stayed “good, and simple, and real,” because now that it’s not, it hurts.
