Thoughts on Travelling at 2am
There is no work tomorrow and because I’ve slept earlier, I can’t fall asleep now. Instead of replying emails to people whom I should be replying, I am going to write in my blog.
Recently, I found out that I have some time off in September. I’m pretty excited about it since I haven’t really been able to take any time off since February. Unfortunately, I don’t get too much time off so I’m not going to be making a trip home. Instead, I’m going to Shanghai with Anne! =) This was definitely good news when I found out because Shanghai is one of the top 3 places left that I want to go to in Asia before going home. The other 2 places I’d like to go to are Bali and Phuket. I think I may only have time to see one more place before next May. But now I’m thinking if I go to one of the two places during my holidays at Chinese New Year, and the other in May before I head back to Vancouver (still tentative) then I still might be able to go to the places I want to see. However my CNY holidays is for about 10 days so maybe I can travel somewhere a bit further, or even try to go to 2 places at once. I am also planning on taking a trip somewhere when I get back to Vancouver in May/June (again, still tentative) but have no idea where. Maybe somewhere in Hawaii, Mexico or Cuba. If I attempt my cross-Canada road trip or my backpacking across Europe, it may be a very prolonged trip. So many choices and I can’t decide. I want to go everywhere.
This brings me to my next thought. Though I’ve enjoyed my stay in Taiwan, I’m not sure if I still want to/should stay. There are still a few important decisions for me to make in regards to staying or leaving but the weaker child-like part of me is dying to go back home to a place with which I feel more confident/familiar. Despite feeling that way, the other part of me wants to try living in a few more places. The desire to want to live in different environments is making McGill look very appealing right now. Even if that means I have another 4 more gruelling years in school to deal with (and in French), I’d be up to the challenge if I get to try living somewhere new. But beyond McGill, I’d like to live in other parts of the world (outside of Canada…or maybe even the far East coast of Canada) as well. So now there are two paths: 1. I can go back home (or somewhere) and stay there and live a mediocre-ly happy life. I’d be satisfied, but that would be all. 2. I could travel and live in as many different places as I’d like. I’d be out of my comfort zone and have to deal with adapting to new places, the loneliness and the instability, but I’d have the adventure, excitement and experience to make up for it. I ask myself sometimes how can I take on choice #2 and be ultimately happy in the end? Spending all that time alone around the world can be fun but then I won’t have the time to settle down and have a family or career (depending on whether or not travelling like that would be part of my future career.) On the other hand, just being satisfied in one place and living a very mediocre normal life doesn’t guarantee true happiness either. We always want our cake and eat it too don’t we?
(Side note- But what exactly is wrong with “wanting cake and eating it too?” I never really understood this expression. If you have a cake, you should be able to eat it- this seems natural. What is unnatural about this expression is that if you have a cake, but you can not eat it. Why would people want a cake that they can’t eat? Does this in turn mean that there is some type of a happy medium between the 2 paths? Because those are the 2 things that I want, and it should be okay to want those things right?)
Anyhow, if you’ve gotten this far in my blog I congratulate you. Just some more of my pointless musings posted online =)
August 4th, 2005 at 10:37 am
Interesting thoughts Ruth. If I had your choices and chances and noone to worry about I would take your path and explore as much as possible. On that note.. I’ll prolly be hitting Thailand and Phuket again next year! Lemme know if you are interested! =)
August 6th, 2005 at 10:05 am
Hi ruth…I am in my friends comp room in HK now and I comment cuz’ I KNOW how U feel. Sometimes we think that it is best to run somewhere else, but like you said, you’ll definitely need to learn how to adapt. A lot of times, we are truly capable of getting use to certain things and places, but its the furthest thing from easy. The fire sign in both of us can succumb most things, but we can never stray too far from our roots. Travel for sure, but try not to stay in an unfamiliar place for too long. I’ve tried it. I’ve met friends along the way, but the emptiness… good luck to you dear! ;P
August 7th, 2005 at 11:30 am
Ruth,
I would suggest you go to Samui instead of Phuket, because Samui is more serene and peaceful, and Phuket is filled with prostitutes (there I said it, just being honest). If you go to Bali, I would suggest you not just stay by the beach, but also go in-land. From what my friend tells me, the people are very nice and hospitable and the you can stay at some gorgeous places in-land for only $5 USD a night, including breakfast. I would just suggest you keep an eye on the Avian Influenza developments, and be careful of Shanghai because we are finding out more and more that China is a cesspool of new infectious diseases (SARS and the recent pig disease). As for the other stuff, I think you should worry and think less. I think our mind gets in the way of our potential many times. And sometimes (I know I shouldn’t start a sentence with “And”) we need to experience before we can judge and say whether “I like this” or “I don’t like that”. It’s the same with how I learned the difference between a tree and a bush. Enjoy your time in Taiwan.